awesome video friday

Love!

Financial Aid Season Closed!

The past couple months are what I call the financial aid season. Ok, so it's not technically closed, but pretty much. It definitely has the resemblance of hunting season. It was my first season as a financial aid counselor so it was a little bit of an intense couple months. Hense the disappearance acts on this blog. I work in the countryside of Illinois so financial aid is really a big deal. The knowledge about financial aid is mediocre, there are all sorts of campaigns and events in and around Chicago, but lets say there is a severe lack of outreach in the countryside. I've really been trying to push the outreach and event in the area. I've really been pushing talking to classrooms of students, but schools are under a lot of stress..... layoffs, changing expectations, I can understand if they're unsure about letting a young state employee into the school consistently. Even if I mean well. So I was trying to create as many events as I could through February and at the latest March. Seeing how I live in Illinois, which has a wonderful grant program called the MAP grant... I push financial aid a lot. Not all states have a state program like that, whether that program is going to stick around for a while is unknown. I went to school thanks to federal grants, and now I work with a lot of students who qualify for these grants as well.
The big news is that financial aid applications were up 30%. That's a lot. As a result of that I got a notice that the IL Map grant was going to be cut on Monday. So thems the breaks! Last year the money ran out mid may....this year mid april. That's rough. I sent this notice around to the schools and naturally have been getting last minute phone calls about helping students fill out their FAFSA. This is extraordinarily frustrating to me..not helping the students...but that so many students have not got this done. It's almost May. The form is really not that hard unless something goes wrong. What is going on that so many students are doing this at the lats minute? Is awareness low? Is motivation low? Do families just forget? Who's job is it to make sure students have this form done...the student, the family, the counselor, the college? I take the issue on myself, next season I'm going to have to hit it hard and fast. I want my district done by the end of March. I don't want my students to be refused funding for college because of some stupid error on someone's part. I will go to every senior classroom as every school if I have to and make a list of students to meet with that haven't finished it.

IDK! Filling out the FAFSA is the easy part....it's graduation and paying off loans that's the tough one. Especially when loans can come from all over the place and they don't send you a notification that a specific loan is due until AFTER it's due. I have a perkins loan where this happened this month. you would think that a loan made for low income students would have better reminders and information with it. My college switched half way through my college career from private bank loans to loans directly from the federal government, to add to my frustrations trying to figure all this repayment crap out. I THINK I now have it all covered, no more nasty surprises.

Lesson of the story... my life has finally calmed down and I can focus on me again...sorta. As much as I do normally...which isn't much. lol

Slightly belated Awesome Video Friday

Belated because I was busy with work...to the point where I was actually on a conference call on my way to a concert! and then I was at an amazing concert! My finnish lovers, also known as HIM, came to town and I, of course, made it to the show! Belated awesome video friday:


HIM "Scared To Death"

HIM | MySpace Music Videos

and a really good song from a band that played with them, Dommin, they were great!

It's a love hate heartbreak

So, Easter. I'm not Christian, but I enjoy spending some time with good food and family. I can't say I'm savvy on Christian lore, but I believe the day celebrates Jesus's rise from the grave. That's really the extent of my knowledge. By my understanding here...it's a little ironic that some issues in my past decided to crawl from the grave to torment me. It would take me a novel to discuss things that happened to me growing up, but the most recently essentially is that my father and his side of the family do not talk to me...for years The last time I told just a part of my life story I had people in the room crying and got a standing ovation. It was a little weird to me. If they cried at what I told...they would explode at some other stories.

Anyway

The fiance and I drove back to our hometown to go out to an early dinner with his family, at a local joint that's popular in with the locals. We were basically finished eating, just relaxing, and I started thinking about how that last time I was there on Easter was with my father...thus YEARS ago. I started thinking about what I would do if they were at the same restaurant. It is my constant fear when I go home that I'll run into these people. I seriously thought I was hallucinating for a minute when I seen my grandmother walk by...then I seen an uncle's significant male other walking around too. I literally panicked. I didn't think my head just took control of the situation I guess. I very much ran out of the restaurant. Keep in mind I have not seen any of these people since we parted ways because they were mad at me for going to college....I'm stuck up and money hungry was the nice way to put what I was called for wanting to better myself. I got up, asked my fiances family to excuse me and I would meet them in the car because half of my family I don't get along with were in the restaurant. I walked as fast as I could out of there with my head down. I was still noticed by an uncle I hear nasty things about (again it would take me a novel to write my history). I smiled and said hi as i kept walking, but did not even close to stop. I did not see my father there...but I was afraid he was coming soon or something and I would NOT have been able to hold it together. He pretty much ripped out my heart and spit on it 5 years ago.

I felt ridiculous leaving my fiances family. It really was a lose lose situation. Either i gracefully..sorta..left and avoided any conflict that might have rose...or I sit there and PRAY no one comes up to the table and says anything nasty. Again, I didn't really think. I panicked and left. At least we were pretty much done eating. I've tried to avoid letting my fiance's family knowing too much about my background. We got back to the fiance's family's house and I was shaking....his mom asked if I was cold...I wasn't. It was just awkward all around. My aunt was super supportive though which I really appreciated. She told me I've come a long way and that's great...and my fiance's family will love me even more because they got a taste of some things I've been through to see where I am now. It was a lovely sentiment, I can't speak to whether it's true or not.

Awesome video friday

I know this is a couple years old, but this is still one of my favorite dances and songs. Just wanted to share.

When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead

I HAVE to have a budget and stick to it. If I don't I tend to go out of control buying silly things and forget about bills due; I also lose track of what I really want and end up buying things I randomly like. Lets just say that recently I've had a little extra income and I can't even backup enough to figure out where I should be on my budget this month. I gave up in March because of the extra income I blew; I did not keep track of it at all. THEN my car went down for the count. Well Kick Ass. I have NO savings. I am a recent-ish college graduate working on paying off student loans, credit cards, and a wedding...not to mention random bills. No Savings.
The past couple weeks I've been on the search for a car. I had no clue what type of car, all I knew is I could afford $300 a month in payments max. I've liked Beetles since I was a kid, but the word on the street was that I didn't want to buy that. Not good cars for what I need. Fun, but not for me. I drove through the used dealerships just writing down cars I liked, and after some eliminations I decided a Nissan Altima was perfect. The word on the street was that they don't die and any repairs would be on the cheaper side. In the end I drove away in a 2005 Nissan Altima for $6800. I, of course, had to have it financed so now I'm more in debt for the next couple years. They wanted $10000 for the car so I feel pretty good with it. It's a really nice car.
I watched the junk yard take my Pontiac Sunfire away today. It was almost tragic. It was like abandoning an old friend. Then I drove to the junk yard to pick up the money for it and I seen it sitting among heaps of scrap metal...all I could think was "you don't belong here my friend." I actually was a little heartbroken with that image. It sounds so crazy, but I didn't want to leave it there among junk! It was on it's last legs, and I know that, but it was the nicest car I've had until this new Altima. The poor sunfire. Had a huge dent in the front, one speaker worked, engine was going to blow, very dirty, chairs didn't move well, window hand roller was broken, air conditioning didn't work, back window heater things didn't work....but it was the nicest car I've had. Goodbye sweet friend.

So I had to redo my budget quite a bit. I have to pawn of the cable bill to the fiance, because I can't afford it now. Saying goodbye to the gym membership. Paying off my target card this month and viola! New budget that doesn't sacrifice my wedding fund or 100 extra dollars for myself. This is what it looks like:

Awesome video friday!

I decided to entertain myself and implement awesome video Friday on the ol blog. Whether it's a good song, neat video, great dancing, whatever I like during the past week I'll post. We're starting with: