My Obsession

I think I need to discuss my ridiculous obsession. Everyone has their...thang. Mine is Alice in Wonderland. I don't care too much for the Disney cartoon, I like it, but it's not my world. I ADORE the books. Then to add to my appreciation of the books I studied abroad at Oxford University during college. Now, I'm not only obsessed with Alice but with Oxford. I left my soul in that city and I would go back in a heartbeat given the opportunity. If you don't know Alice in Wonderland was written by Lewis Carroll, which was a pen name of Charles Dodgson a mathematics professor at Christ Church College Oxford Uni. Alice was actually a real girl, the daughter of the president of the college who ran around quite often. Carroll used to make up stories and tell them to her, hense Alice in Wonderland. In Oxford there is an Alice shop (the Old Sheep shop and the shop where Alice got her candy) and Christ Church College has a whole stand glass window of Alice. So my obsessions go hand in hand. I got this necklace today and I'm really excited to get it and put a pound coin in it from Oxford. Be still my sentimental heart!
In light of all that....I feel like I'm going to have a stroke everytime I see the new movie commercial....I'm so damn excited. I already bought tickets, I'm throwing a mad tea party before the movie March 5....yeah the obsession is that bad. I can't stop thinking about this movie and how epic it's going to be. I think the new spin on an old tale will be amazing and I love the cast!

Valentine's and whatnot

I've been sick for a couple days, which seems to be my luck when I have an extended vacation or 4 day weekend recently...especially when it's around a holiday. I was sick through new years and now valentines day. Despite being sick I had a good valentines day. We went for lunch at a new Japanese place in town. Way delicious and just had a relaxing day together. Can't ask for much more than that.

Avatar...yeah I finally seen it

I know I'm two or so months behind, but I finally seen Avatar. I've wanted to see it, but paying $3 extra dollars for an already expensive movie ticket irritates me. I don't understand why I can't keep the 3D glasses from previous movies, bring them, and pay the normal ticket price. I'm not a 3d nerd so I can't say that 3D movies excite me. In fact I have some issues with my inner ears and I'm constantly afraid I'll be sick at 3D movies, thankfully that hasn't happened yet. Personally, I think the movie could have been just as good without 3D...my fiance thinks the 3D was amazing and partially made the movie.

I really did like this movie. It's been a while since I've seen a movie that was really engaging and thoughtful. The story was good, the visuals were good too, but I really enjoyed the story. If this is one of those movies based of a book I'd go out and buy it immediately...I don't think it is though. I thought the characters were well developed...though the main guy's dialogue was a little dull from time to time. I'm not sure if that was on purpose to reflect the whole trained brain of the military that was exemplified at other points of the movie....or if it was just poor writing for his dialogue.

My friend told me a lot of people were leaving the movie depressed, and I can't understand why. The good guys win, everyone lives happy ever after. People don't like having their culture and morals slapped in their face I guess. People have been taking it as a crack against America, and I didn't see it that way. I saw it as a crack at what we are doing as a race globally. Honestly, if you haven't thought of the issues presented in that movie before I don't know where you've been. I don't know. Maybe it's just my perspective. I have native american heritage and follow an...older religion...lets say. I've thought about much of the issues presented before...a lot. Breaking down the issues would be another 20 blog posts, but I liked the issues being presented and we all should think about how we treat our mother earth and what having faith in something really means. I also thought it was funny that the Vatican had to comment about the movie saying it misrepresents religion and earth based religions aren't valid. blah blah. I really don't want to throw a religious debate on the floor here, but it's all rather interesting!

Bizarre

Yesterday I was enjoying a free latte at Borders making random work calls and rummaging through magazines. Apparently Borders sells the UK Bizarre magazine. Who knew? I liked this magazine, I read it when I was in the UK and I refused to pay the subscription cost for the US. I assumed I'd never see it again; I was pretty excited I was wrong. The magazine is the weird mix of weird, funny, interesting, and...well...pretty.

It got me thinking about women and body images last night, which is a little weird, but I have a degree in psychology and women's studies, give me a break. I read the magazine, thought the cover model was beautiful and had the motivation to look like that. Not too much behind it, just the inspiration. Then I get home and hand the magazine to my fiance and I think about him thinking the model is beautiful and I end up thinking I'm supposed to look like that. It was a dramatic flip flop in my mind, because we both say the same thing but they each create a different scenario in my mind with my personal motivation and goals. I was impressed at my mental gymnastics, but I really didn't like it. My attitude went from motivation to pressure.
The reason this hit me is that I hear about women's body images and standard models all the time, but I never had a personal connection to it. I never wanted to look like any of the standard issue models in the standard issue magazines. As soon as I grab an "alternative" magazine I have the same complexes as everyone else. Even if I can take it a part and understand why those complexes exist, it doesn't help me feel less crappy about myself.

So all this got me thinking last night about women and their ideal body type. My question is do women who identify with an "alternative" style, group, lifestyle have the same complexes about the ideal body type as those women who identify with "normal" magazines, movie stars? Essentially, is the ideal body type so ingrained from one source that it transcends all other groups? Based on my experiences last night I think so. Granted, the model above and below isn't stick thin, but definitely thin and well toned, lets say.

Then my mind continued asking how women get over ragging on themselves and work toward their goal? And are they really working towards THEIR goal or the goal someone told them to have? I was 112lbs in high school...but I was healthy..I ate like a horse. Now, after college I weigh 140lbs. The way I look at this goal is that it's really only a 20lbs difference, but how do I get over ragging on myself and the pressure to look like that and really do it for myself? 140lbs is by no means fat, but I don't look like that when I know I did. Such weird complexes that apply to every subculture...me thinks!

Good idea at the time

"True about my taste. True about my wealth. But you don't need no help from me, you'll yourself to waste"

I'm hoping this month is significantly better than the way January ended. Last week was far too long with too much silly people involved. You know when you just have people and things that make your job ten times harder than it needs to be, and you can't figure out why adult women act like teenagers...that was my week last week. I just have to get back in the game and get over the huge setback of last week. oh the world of education is interesting.

My budget kinda exploded as a result of irritating people. When I'm upset the solution to my problem is to go out for some dinner and a drink, so I spent more in food then my budget allowed. I reconfigured the whole thing this month so it is actually accurate with bills instead of close guesstimates. Unfortunately, since my favorite band in the world is finally touring the US again all my extra money for the month is gone...and it's only the second day of the month! The show isn't even 'till April! March's extra money will probably be gone at the beginning of March due to a math GRE refresher course I want to take. I have to stick to that, because I need to pay of the downpayment for our wedding ceremony and reception! I need a HUGE sticker board in front of my face all the time that reads "Do you really need that? You have a wedding to pay for!" So I guess February is my month of making my tiny kitchen just as relaxing as going out to eat. My fiance and I make just as, if not better, food than restaurants...but we get so lazy!

It is now February and that means only one thing in the world of education and financial aid....FAFSA! I'm helping so many people with this little form that it's ridiculous. I like what I do, and I never get upset at having to do these things. The same old questions for the most part, and then one really hard question comes up once a week or so. Last night I was at a school's event talking to parents and I hear heartbreaking stories to people scoffing at financial aid. I watched the school's dance team for a little bit, reminiscing about my days in high school...it was nice to see a dance team that doesn't present they're in a music video. I found that refreshing. I like talking to people once I get going. I recognize that I can be too offbeat for some people, but I have a good time regardless. It felt good that something went so right after a week that went so wrong!