Bizarre

Yesterday I was enjoying a free latte at Borders making random work calls and rummaging through magazines. Apparently Borders sells the UK Bizarre magazine. Who knew? I liked this magazine, I read it when I was in the UK and I refused to pay the subscription cost for the US. I assumed I'd never see it again; I was pretty excited I was wrong. The magazine is the weird mix of weird, funny, interesting, and...well...pretty.

It got me thinking about women and body images last night, which is a little weird, but I have a degree in psychology and women's studies, give me a break. I read the magazine, thought the cover model was beautiful and had the motivation to look like that. Not too much behind it, just the inspiration. Then I get home and hand the magazine to my fiance and I think about him thinking the model is beautiful and I end up thinking I'm supposed to look like that. It was a dramatic flip flop in my mind, because we both say the same thing but they each create a different scenario in my mind with my personal motivation and goals. I was impressed at my mental gymnastics, but I really didn't like it. My attitude went from motivation to pressure.
The reason this hit me is that I hear about women's body images and standard models all the time, but I never had a personal connection to it. I never wanted to look like any of the standard issue models in the standard issue magazines. As soon as I grab an "alternative" magazine I have the same complexes as everyone else. Even if I can take it a part and understand why those complexes exist, it doesn't help me feel less crappy about myself.

So all this got me thinking last night about women and their ideal body type. My question is do women who identify with an "alternative" style, group, lifestyle have the same complexes about the ideal body type as those women who identify with "normal" magazines, movie stars? Essentially, is the ideal body type so ingrained from one source that it transcends all other groups? Based on my experiences last night I think so. Granted, the model above and below isn't stick thin, but definitely thin and well toned, lets say.

Then my mind continued asking how women get over ragging on themselves and work toward their goal? And are they really working towards THEIR goal or the goal someone told them to have? I was 112lbs in high school...but I was healthy..I ate like a horse. Now, after college I weigh 140lbs. The way I look at this goal is that it's really only a 20lbs difference, but how do I get over ragging on myself and the pressure to look like that and really do it for myself? 140lbs is by no means fat, but I don't look like that when I know I did. Such weird complexes that apply to every subculture...me thinks!